I recently finished Craig Thompsons graphic novel Blankets and am stuck in a reflective, nostoglic, feeling about my past relationships with old flames and family members.  So many topics hit really close to home and when I ask others they say the same thing.

Remebering my childhood makes me regret the past and long for a better future, but my past has been nothing wishful thinking of the future.  This hit hard when finishing Blankets because it seems like, now in my late twenties, I’m ready to experience all that i can but feel like i’m running out of time fast.  LIke my childhood is slipping away and before i know it I’ll get too old to enjoy the things i do now.  Once i loved to play videogames, or draw comics, or hang out with my family, or go out for coffee, or go camping, or read, or spend time with others ….. All things change with time and that is what scares me.

I can see myself wishing for the future so I am starting to take back steps.  Enjoying the present and letting go, or accepting, of the past is crucial to being happy now.

Over the course of two years, a family member of mine has been buggin me to create a website for his business.  Of course i’m not suck a cold hearted person to leave someone who is not tech savy in the stone age, so i eventually said yes.  Now I have the a huge responsibilty to make a great website for my uncle so his business will flurish.

Latest headache is css drop down menus.  It should work but the spacing is all off.  Maybe I need float or something but its pissing me off.

Hopefully i can get it right or i’ll just have to right something HTML easy and not expect it to be really updatable.

Oh yeah, if anyone knows a way to open a link on the same page, I would love to hear about it.  I know about IFrame but i would rather have it appear that they went to the right page but have a small banner at the top of the page stating that they came from so and so website.

Help me internet, your my only hope!

i’ve loved music since i was a small child. The entire family, save for my mother and brother, played a musical instrument. I played the alto sax, guitar, Father played the guitar, one sister played the violin, and the other sister played the flute and trumpet. I can’t claim to be a great musician, but i do have a respect for music that others might not have.

My musical tastes have changed quite a bit through the years. I first liked classic rock, then metal, then rap, and now i’m shifting towards what the cable’s music channel is calling adult alternative. I think this is only because emo is now called alternative … which makes me sick. The bands i’ve been getting into are like The Toadies, The Lemonheads, The Smiths (almost favorite band of all time), Morrissey, Nada Surf, The Cure and other bands that just hit me with a powerfull lyric and calm melody.

Morrissey has been my latest fascination. His music directly after The Smiths was like his former band. Becuase of this i didn’t pay much attention. I listened to the singles or greatest hits album, but i didn’t listen with the same passion as with any of the Smiths albums. Maybe this is because back then it was more of an accoustic guitar repeating melody w/ such beautiful lyrics and now its not the band i’m listening to, but rather just the lead vocals.

This all changed with his two latest albums, “You are the quarry” and “Ringleader of the tormentors”. These albums take Morrissey back to a rock’n feel and allows me to embrace the lyrics again. I’m not sure if you’d understand because he has such great songs like “The more you ignore me the closer i get”, “Suede Head”, “Everyday is like sunday”, and “We hate it when our friends become successfull”, but even with these songs i’ve felt like the 90’s Morrissey felt like a slow crep instead of a powerful burst.

With his new album coming out soon, i’m super excited that the next album will be just as good as his last two. I know i’m probably getting over excited but It has been a while since someone’s singing, lyrics, and music has hit me in the same way The Smiths and Morrissey’s music has.

jonathan

Looking back on my investment of around 500usd for a Wii + controllers + zelda, I have to admit that I feel a little let down. I really want to love my Wii since I’ve spent the cash and was expected a fun system, but without the games to play I’m stuck with a box collecting dust on my entertainment center.

Ok, people will talk about Wii sports and how revolutionary it is blah blah blah, but after playing it ten or twenty times it gets boring. I want smash bros, mario cart, or something that can tide me over. I haven’t played the new Metroid yet but I want to finish the first two and they make me motion sick … so its a slow process.

To make it worse, I now really want an xbox 360. The games the came out and are gonna come out for that system look awesome. Also the amount of third party games is huge and that really adds off the wall crazy games that are original and fun. With the new bundle including forenza and Xmen coming out in a few weeks, i’m gonna jump on it and start playing the xbox.

I know a few weeks ago i wrote about how i didn’t know if i wanted a ps3 or 360 but now i know it has to be a 360. This is because ps3 has no games! It suffers from the lack of entertainment just like the Wii. Trust me that i don’t want to like the 360 and Microsoft because I run Ubuntu and i enjoy more ps2 games than xbox. I had to bow to better games and not the potential of better games.

So now i wait for that bundle and them the fun will begin. Comments are welcome!

Doubt and faith

When pressed between hard times and harsh realities, the thought of faith and prayer arises.  This can be seen in medical emergencies, before a tough exam, or when rooting for a favorite sports team.  Most of the time prayer is nothing more than a nonverbal expression of hope that one can make while sighing.  This use of prayer dilutes the power of faith just as how certain words have lost their true meaning, or power, through misuse, ignorance, or triteness.   When prayer is more than superstition but rather hope and reason, the thought of amelioration becomes plausible.  Of course being human, no one can have absolute faith all the time and when times get harder, it is only natural for prayer to become more prevalent.  What happens when prayers come true?  Should one accept a gift from God with open arms or be weary.  Is being weary a sign of a lack of faith in prayer and inevitably God?  Is it wrong not to accept something that one has prayed for since it seems like prayers go unanswered for so many people.  Prayer has been a vehicle for hope in the power of faith and God but without reason and doubt, the power prayer is unanalyzed and not interpreted thus underappreciated and often unaware.

Doubt and Prayer

By Alfred Tennyson

THO’ Sin too oft, when smitten by Thy rod,

Rail at ‘Blind Fate’ with many a vain ‘Alas”

From sin thro’ sorrow into Thee we pass

By that same path our true forefathers trod;

And let not Reason fail me, nor the sod

Draw from my death Thy living flower and grass,

Before I learn that Love, which is, and was

My Father, and my Brother, and my God!

Steel me with patience! soften me with grief!

Let blow the trumpet strongly while I pray,

Till this embattled wall of unbelief

My prison, not my fortress, fall away!

Then, if Thou willest, let my day be brief,

So Thou wilt strike Thy glory thro’ the day.

Love,

Jonathan

Hello people passing by my blog. Today I finally broke down and decided to fix my sound card issues with ubuntu linux. Let me start by saying that I was using a creative sound blaster audigy SE and the sound was fine but as hard as I tried there was no mic recording on audacity. I just want everyone to know that the only reason i bought the new card was because I beta-ed Microsoft Vista a year back and believe it or not, my SB Live card was concidered LEGACY HARDWARE and wasn’t supported. This meant no sound on vista and grey hair. When the beta ended, I switched to ubuntu fiesty faun and all was better or at least i thought it was alright.

Installing a new OS can lead to little problems with sound and video but most of it is just a little tweak to alsamixer or jumping into a file and adding a few lines. On Ubuntu most of the problems can be solved with apt-get or synaptic package manager, but this isn’t where my problem was solved. I tried everything and the bottom line was that booting up my XP partion got the mic working, so last night I gave up and created my first podcast on Windows XP … i wanted to cry.

Then in the middle of the night i had a dream about making another show but this time on ubuntu and something clicked. I remembered that i had a SB live card in my closet from when i needed to upgrade for Vista. This was my shining light and guiding saviour back to completely using Linux. After installing my Live card, I loaded up audacity and alsamixer and started recording sound without a hitch.

Final thought for this blog entry would be that any Linux user using a sound blaster audigy SE card should think twice before tinking with the mic or any recording because alsa does not like this card. Perhaps its just too new but the thing has been around for a while and alsa usually does not discriminate, so who knows.

Keep a look out for my new all linux made audio blog coming soon!

-Jonathan

Hello all!  I’ve just started an audio podcast to give my viewers another venue for my rants, thoughts, and beliefs.  The rss feed is located on the side bar to the right and they are hosted on podshow.com .  So far i’ve only done one and it doesn’t have great production but if it allows me to flow between thoughts or create something good, them i’m ok with it.

So subscribe to get your fix of me on your ipod

Jonathan

A friend came in from out of town and wondered if I could order a copy of Legacy of Kain Defiance off the internet. I decided to check out my local EB Games and found a copy in the 9.99 or less bin. When I showed him that I had the game before he got to my house, he lit up with excitement. When I handed him the game I purchased, he handed me a copy of Legacy of Kain Soul Reaver 2 for the PS2.

For anyone unfamilar with the Legacy of Kain series, It’s a tale of Vampires, deceit, and stuff. Its hard not dive in and start giving away little details about the games because there is so much good storytelling in these games. So far i’ve beaten the first, blood omen, and i’m working on the third, Soul Reaver 2. I haven’t played Blood Omen since early 2000 so I have to admit that i have much to play but my friend filled me in a few details. These games are rare and its been hard to get my hands on the original discs.

The only thing that makes me cringe is the way game play is changed from the first and the third. The first is like a diablo clone while the rest of the series is more like Tomb Raider or devil May Cry. While the graphics improved dramatically, i think plat forming puzzle games are a little boring, but thats just me.

It would be excellent to see games like these come into the next gen era with awesome controls and robust environments. Hopefully companies like Silicon Knights or Eidios can create some new gems to fill our empty 360, wii, and ps3 libraries.

Good Site:         http://www.dark-chronicle.co.uk http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legacy_of_Kain

I just cashed in my full jar of change and i was wondering what system to pick up.  I’ve been loyal to Sony for many years and have an expansive collection of ps and ps2 games but i think a change could be good.  Recently I purchased a Wii and played it for a while, but i’m still feeling wii-tarded becuase there are not any games out for the system.  This makes me look at the two bigger badder next gen consoles and question which one i should purchase.

xbox 360 has had a few years to push out some alright games.  I will probably annoy fanboys by saying that i’m not a huge fan of Halo.  I think that without bots, like in time splitters 2 & 3, or fighting people online, there isn’t much there in a FPS.  I’ve also heard that the points system or awards are a good thing but i haven’t played much 360 so i’m not sure.  Also i’m not sure whether to get an Elite for $450 or a pro for $379.  I’m not sure if i need HDMI or a large harddrive with the xbox or if i wait and they will be standard soon.  Also will i need to buy a HD drive to play future games?  ugh.

PS3 looks pimp and has a blueray player built right in.  Large harddrive, wireless adapter, and controllers gives this console great peripherals.   The system was tested in extreme heat and cold, but still kept playing proving that it is a tank.  The games i want to play will be exclusive ps3 games like MGS series, ratchet and clank, Final fantasy, and future rockstar games.  The only problem is that there are no games out for it yet and the price of the system is huge!  I’ve read rants about how no one is going to develope games for the ps3 and the hardware is power wasted.  Should i buy another waste of a system like the Wii?

So there are my arguments.  Please leave comments and help me decide.  I do like some games on the 360 and i am almost persuaded to buy one but i want others to help.

Here is a simple list of recommended podcasts:

diggnation, twit, twig, Linux action show, cranky geeks, Sidescrollers, Security Now!, and LugRadio.

download these and enjoy!

-jonathan