thoughts on the film “The double life of Veronique”
The thought of living double lives have fascinated me for some time. After watching the film “The double life of Veronique” I had to sit down and think about how it made me feel. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101765/ . With films like Fight Club, viewers find out that a multiple personality is coming out and the film has a nice clean ending. This film was different because it wasn’t exactly about two people living identical lives or a split personality, but rather someone connecting with another person, almost spiritually, without meeting that person. Although commenting fully on this film would take more than a thought, but rather a full film review, so I’ve decided to write about my thoughts after i watched this film
My first thought circled around a dream i had a few years ago about a girl i’ve never met. She had dark hair, fair complexion, and was about five feet four. I remember finding her in an alley, either behind a bar or in an abandoned loft apartment. Either way the lighting was coming in from above and I could feel wind hitting my shoulder and back. We met, laughed, held each other and kissed, then I walked away. The feeling of being in love or complete was overwhelming and it took me a while to snap out of it in the morning. I remember wanting to see her again in my dreams. Asking to run into her again, almost as if she was real. Almost as if she was somewhere dreaming about me, or maybe we were on another plane of existence not known to us now but will be revealed later or even after our deaths. Although i remember the dream vividly, we did not meet again. Even with trying to lucid dream to get back to her, it never happend.
I believe this kind of connection between something that is real, like reality, and something that is not so tangle, like our dreams, is something that can soothe the soul. The romantic dream between lovers who never met before and will never meet again fills me with questions like what is love, what is reality, and why do we dream.
An empty feeling
Today started off normal. Class, work, class and them sleep is my usual daily routine and today was no different. I had a great lunch with a friend and soon, now that i’m out of my last class for the day, my girl friend will be coming over in a few hours right before i must go to bed and repeat the cycle. An ordinary day with a few challenges in class and no real personal problems should set up the night for relaxing, going out, or at least a good feeling of accomplishment, but tonight I feel empty.
The feeling is like a rock in my stomach or an ache in my heart. I’m not sure why the inexplicable sense of depression or melancholy. I believe i think to much of the future and what i am to become. I worry that I’ll never graduate, even though I’m almost finished, and if I do graduate, i won’t be able to find a job that doesn’t pay minimum. I worry about my relationship with my girlfriend. She thinks about the future as well, but she mainly thinks about marriage or children. We don’t always see things the same, and here is a prime example. For now I’ll leave it as that.
These worries do not consume me. I’m usually happy and confident in what I do and say, but today I lament for no reason. Maybe it is all chemical and not situational. Missing endorphins or late of chemical/mineral/vitamin whatever leading me into a spiral of sadness. Being unbalanced and moody is a foreign concept to me, and this is especially apparent when dealing with friends. I have a few friends with supposed depression, bi-polar, and manic but i really haven’t experienced any of that myself. Maybe this is what its like.
I think I want to sleep or get high. Forget what I’m not remembering. Lose my myself before i realize what I’m not.
French Night
Last night i stayed up late trying not to accomplish anything. This happens when the mind realizes that the body has been so busy all week that it wants to shut down on Sunday. This is not brought out with drinking or any other libation, but rather a constant state of motion that never ceases. A perpetual motion machine in constant loops around job, eat, and sleep. So last night I chilled.
While relaxing on my pillow top mattress, i decided to watch a film called Delicatessen. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101700/ . The premise is a Butcher is killing people to feed to his tenents, but when the daughter of the butcher falls in love with the new tenant, she has to decide whether or not to help the new item on the building’s menu. It was full of beautiful camera shots, suspense, and action. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a good film that might not be something they would normally pick.
The night was also complemented with the sexy sounds of Air. Air is a French techno/trancy band that fascinates me. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_%28band%29 . The light sound relaxes, but the actual composure of it stimulates and makes me look deep within its notes, beats, and melody. Their website is also amazing. http://www.pocket-symphony.com/ . Not only is the site designed beautifully but it also sports video, sound clips, and other information. It is a must to go there and just sit and listen. Then watch and absorb. Relax and enjoy.
hopefully i can get responses from anyone who runs into this post. Tell me what you think!
High weirdness in video games
Do you remember the movie “The Rocketeer”? It was a gem in the 90s that i didn’t really like, but the video game was a different story. freaking hated it! Props goes out to the angry video game nerd @ http://www.cinemassacre.com/Movies/Nes_Nerd.html . He should really take a look into this steamy pile of putrid elephant crap.
First of all i should say that when i played it back in the day i was pumped to rent it on the super nintendo. I remember liking the film and wanted to fly around like the main character in the movie. But that quickly deminished when i couldn’t get past the impossible training mode to the game. This reminds me of games with intros like Driver, where the training is way more difficult that the rest of the whole game. Maybe I was just a kid, but i never wanted to relive that stupid game.
Years later, like a few hours ago, i decided to check it out on the Nintendo. Let me say that within the first minute I was rolling on the ground laughing. Maybe I should just show you the screen shots and let you decide whats wrong with the pictures.
Next comes Micheal Jackson’s great SEGA Genesis game Moonwalker! These picks were taken from websites on the description of the pics. First to say the little children Michael squeels and then throughs them in a closet. The kids even scream! Second, the way he grabs the girls look a little dirty! And finally there is the penis robot!
What do you all think about these? I know there are more video games that have perverted, sick, or just wrong things in them. Send me your comments and lets see if we can make a list of them all!
Much is added today!
Hello everyone who reads this. Today i’ve added much under the category religion and under religion-journals. These were written for a religion class back in spring of 2006 so much will be dated, unorganized, or even not making sense. I’m hoping adding some papers from class brings in come new people and adds some girth to my blog.
1/31/06
Genesis 21-24 A few important parts in these chapters would be the attempted sacrifice of Isaac and acquiring his new wife. The attempted sacrifice of Isaac was to show devotion for God. To show that Abraham fears God. This fear took me a while to understand for when I think of fear, I think of cruelty, punishment, or capriciousness. But God’s fear, I gather, is more of respect and love, then punishment. This also is going to be addressed in Job’s story of devotion, where job knows Gods love so he doesn’t fall short. But what if Isaac was sacrificed? Moving on to the death of Sarah and the wedding of Rebekah. After the death of Sarah, a servant went into Mesopotamia to find a wife for Isaac. He decided to find the first lady at a watering whole that would let him drink from her jug and give some to his camels. This would mean that she is a sharing, caring kind of person. He found Rebekah and she decided to go with him back to Isaac. The think that strikes my curiosity is when someone blessed Rebekah and said to her “…and my your offspring possess the gate of those who hate them!” I’m not sure what he means by this. Maybe may she always live above those, who hate her, or maybe hoping her happiness away from hateful people? I’m not sure.
Piper 7-8 chapters 7 brings up a great point that is God is not weight the good over the bad. The hedonistic calculus is great when deciding to watch a movie late at night or go out to the bars, but God doesn’t do this when deciding how to judge us. This is a good reassurance when I see some people doing horrible things on purpose to just try to recompensate with petty good things. Maybe this could be better said that altruism is better than forced good. But I know I’m looking deeper into this than intended. The notion of giving one’s life for another is admirable and full of compassion, but to think that it was for everyone is great. The idea of Jesus dying to ransom of our sins is an odd thought. That our sins, from the original, were so bad that God would have to give his only son is an amazing thought.
Lewis 40-59 I’ve started to read these chapters but will have to read more in order to get a full and complete journal entry.
Jan 26
Genesis 12-20 the story of Sodom and Gomorrah was pretty much a review for me. One thing that I’ve never heard was how Abraham would give his wife to kings of near by towns and then after they married her, God would come to them. This seems dirty. It seems like a trick to get money, sheep, and servants from rich kings. Although God did say that anyone who blesses him would be blessed, but I think Abraham is getting what he wants way too easily. Another thing I noticed was the part about circumcising all the men in the household. I’m not sure why this was important except that God told Abraham to do it. Another thing is why God not just made Sarai fertile right away instead of letting Abraham take his wife’s servant. And lastly I’m not sure why God has made this covenant with Abraham. What is their connection and why allow him to do this wife swapping trick on kings. Maybe I need to read through this again to understand more.
Piper 5-6 both of these chapters dealt with God and Jesus’s love for us. Chapter five deals with the notion that we, as sinners, should deserve punishment and not a gift of his son as forgiveness. That we are not worthy of his grace, yet he gives us it with love. The frogs deserve it more, because of the lack of sin. Chapter six said that it was Christ’s love for us that he died on the cross. Also a Christian said that Jesus loved them and he showed it by sacrificing himself for us. Both chapters reminded us that we should be thankful for the love that is, was, given to us from the Lord and Jesus.
Lewis 28-39 What we do is not always what we are supposed to do. Conscious helps us find moral law, or right from wrong, through conscience is telling what feels good or bad. I liked the ketch 22 with if there were an absolute goodness he would hate what we do because the moral law tells us one thing and we do the other. The idea of Materialism vs. Spiritualism isn’t really a new concept but I’m not sure if I’m convinced that without God there could be no unselfishness or altruism. Moral law doesn’t need to sprout from a divine source, although this is kind of Lewis’s argument. The idea of Pantheists not having the distinction between good and evil is interesting. Let’s say God is like this and he is everywhere and he is a part of you, me, and the universe, then we would have to look into the bad parts to try and find the good. Christianity saying that God encourages us to do good and punishes evil is the standard idea. God being a painting and not the painter is a fascinating concept.
Jan 2
Genesis 4-11 first the story of Cane and Abel is another review. Cane killing Abel because he is jealous of Abel’s response from God is what I interpreted. Next was Noah’s story about the flood and his genealogy. The flood, again, was review but after reading it I’m not completely sure why God wanted to separate the clean animals from the dirty. Was this hygiene for sanitation or just to insure healthy animals to begin with? Another thing I have to try and understand is the idea of people living over 100 years. This seems outrageous when man lives to see his great great grandson being born over a period of 900 years. Also I liked that once God saw Noah’s conviction, he decided to remove the curse from man over the land and never to completely destroy everything again.
Lewis 16-27 Beginning where I left off last journal entry, I think that Lewis hit the nail on the head when he stating that misuses of words in language can demean or take away value from them. My mother used to tell me that this or that was very unchristian. I can understand why rhetoric, syntax, and semantics are crucial when understanding someone’s faith, culture, etc. These rules help define what we are talking about and I agree with Lewis. Getting farther into the first few chapters, Lewis discusses the idea of a natural law. I see this saw as being ethical or moral, but I also believe that Lewis is going to elaborate more to fit a more Christian tone. Also I agree that the law of nature is something that is inherent and not something learned. Form the start a child doesn’t know how to hate until he is taught; nature vs. nurture. Also the example of helping a man in danger is a good example. People want to be treated fairly, even if they don’t treat others fairly. The idea of a moral that this is ingrained in us, to try to be unselfish is an amazing idea for I believe that every person wishes to be good but circumstance gets in the way.
Piper 3-4 chapter 3 explained that obedience was obtained through the suffering of Jesus not thought trail and error of sin, but rather through great love and sacrifice through God. This makes me wonder, again, if someone can live without sin. Chapter 4 described that the resurrection of Jesus was not payment for his death but a reassurance of faith for everyone.
1/17
Genesis 1-3 The beginning of Genesis is a review for me. A few things that I have found interesting would be how Adam’s sin is pushed on Eve because it is seen as obedience to his wife. To the serpent God said to put enmity between man, wife, and child. God also said to curse the live stock and all beasts in the field. I’m not exactly sure what the serpent is supposed to represent or who he is exactly. For the woman, God made childbearing more painful and the husband will rule. For Adam he made him eat from the cursed ground he polluted. This is poetic and makes me think of we reap what he sow. This is all basic stuff but put into today’s PC standards, God just said that woman pretty much damned the man and man only suffered because he loved/respected his wife. I’m not sure how to look at this. One way would be like Pandora’s Box. Although people can make anything look sexist in any text, I’m gonna try to look past it to the moral and the truth.
Piper 1-2 I’ll start by saying that in my opinion Christianity is nothing but a guilt trip for something we have, haven’t, or will do. In the first chapter of Passion, Piper says that God doesn’t not just provide a substitute for his wrath but his propitiation of his son is really diverging the major blow from us to himself. This sounds righteous and good but at the same time leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I know I’m not picking up man’s dirty deed or I’m not understanding why Jesus had to be sacrificed in order to save the sins of the world. Could Jesus have died without sin? Does the whole trinity come to play here, where God doesn’t just sacrifice his son but really a human part of himself? Am I just talking out my rump? I’m not sure, but I’ll probably figure that out through reading more of these texts!
Lewis p-15 I’m not finished reading thought the preface but it talks about not offending any of the denominations. I will write more about his tomorrow.
Feb 23
Lewis 153-171 These chapters contain tough concepts for people to comprehend such as Jesus being a God, the trinity, and how God sees in a non-linear fashion. I’m pretty familiar with this concept but I thought, while reading the material, that Lewis’s metaphors can be a little hard to follow at times.
Bible Exodus 18-24 These chapter were interesting. First Jethro tells Moses to spread out the judgments between people so to no be overburden and to ask the Lord for rules. Then comes the famous Ten Commandments and some other laws I was not familiar with. These laws perked my interest. Laws such slaves laws, restitution laws, social justice, and Sabbath and festivals interested me because of the delicate matter of a God telling his people what to do. Examples of what I’m talking about could be 20:26, no steps to an alter, 21:7, female slaves pleasing her master as well is an eye for an eye if the mothers child is murdered before birth. Some other oddities I’ve noticed would be in the laws of social justice. 22:18 and 22:19 says that you shall not permit a sorceress to live and that whoever lies with an animal shall be put to death. These are strange things to be put in Social Justice. Well, maybe the bestiality isn’t as strange as the sorcocee. Another strange law out be not boiling a young goat in its mothers milk. This could be symbolic or for actual health reasons, I’m not sure. The rest of was pretty much review, but as you can see, it’s the little details that really interest me. I forgot to mention that when the angel was sent to them, God said that they should obey this angel because he will not forgive their transgression and that his name is in him. I’m not sure if this just means that the angel has his permission to punish or if it has a deeper meaning.
